The Lovely Bitches

After months of passing by this book and not paying it much attention, I finally picked up "Why Men Love Bitches." This is NEVER the sort of book I would have read in the past, but after all my recent relationship drama, I was curious to see if this book possibly had something to offer that I was somehow missing.

From the acknowledgement at the beginning, I was sucked in. In Sherry Argov's mindset, the term "bitch" did not refer to some evil encompassed woman, who treated everyone else as if they were cockroaches. But instead, she used "bitch" to denote a woman who respected herself above all else and would never compromise who she is or what she stands for to be with a man. I liked this message so far!

While the book was a incredibly repetitive, perhaps its what some women really need--to be drilled the same ideas over and over again, in order to knock them out of their stringent ways. After all, giving advice to another woman is always easier than actually following your good advice in your own everyday life. I am the sort of girl who likes to wear a tiara when I'm hanging out around the house and expects to be treated like a princess, and of course, I am fully willing to engage in acts of kindness for the guy....but I certainly would not partake in these acts of kindness if they were inequitable.

...Or would I?

A look back at the summer months will prove that I was constantly doing favors for B, and while he was very affectionate and did take care of me on several occassions, I was probably giving more than I was getting.

The book stresses that you should limit your availability to a man. You should not drop everything you are doing when he calls and invites you over or skip out on plans on the chance that he may call. You should live your life and if you are able to pencil him in from time to time, good for you! If not, don't sweat it! Women who are too available will quickly grow boring--because they don't have lives of their own! Men figure these things out and they are way more interested in a woman who has a life.

I realize that in the boredom of a summer in which most of my friends were interning or working 70+ hour weeks, B was the only one around to hang out with at times and I definitely made myself too available to him. He'd go out with friends and then call me to come over afterwards, and I rarely told him I was busy and couldn't come. I was interested in taking these belly dancing classes Thursday mornings, but each week, I was too cozy in his bed to get up and go to those classes. I went out to breakfast with him instead. These are just a few examples of how I acted like the silly girl that I typically pride myself in NOT BEING!

So now I am fully prepared for my next relationship. I am always going to be nice and polite and appreciative...but I will not make myself too available, I will demand respect and full integrity--because I don't have to be there! And I will definitely put myself first the next time, after all, boys come and go...but the relationship you have with yourself, that's the one that lasts forever.

Has anyone else read the book and have an opinion? Or simply want to vent about examples of how we don't take our own good advice? :)