Glee

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So I have recently become obsessed with the new Fox show, Glee. A friend kept telling me to watch it so I finally sat down and did--I ripped through all 5 episodes (watched the 6th and newest online this morning) back to back.

Its like High School Musical but for an older, smarter audience. I am a HSM fan, so nothing against it...but Glee takes what is good at HSM and enhances it with a clever script, witty dialogue, great character development, and a boatload of talent (many of whom come from Broadway).

I love the main character, Rachel. She reminds me of Reese Witherspoon in Election, except that she, unlike Tracy Flick, is actually a good, kind person underneath her OCD nature and determination for greatness. Its nice that she actually looks like a normal girl as well, she is pretty but in a girl next door kind of way.

The teacher, Mr. Shoester, is also incredibly likeable as the sweet (yet sometimes oblivious) Glee coach. His wife has faked a pregnancy to which he remains blissfully unaware. Then there is the setup with him and the school guidance teacher, Emma. Their relationship is so sweet and it is clear that both have feelings for each other but are too moral to act on them.

Then, of course, there is the villain--Sue Sylvester, the masculine cheerleading coach who is constantly out to destroy Glee club for taking away Cheerio school funding. Jane Lynch displays brilliant comedic timing and basically has viewers laughing every time she opens her mouth.

I could go on and on about how brilliant each and every character is...but I like keeping these posts short and sweet.

The dance numbers are incredibly entertaining and the song choices are ever catchy, I often find myself singing along accidentally or tapping my foot to the beat, wishing I was up there too! These kids sure can sing, and as we are slowly figuring out--so can the teachers! Now we are just eagerly awaiting the breakthrough singing performances of those who have not yet opened their mouths to display their talent...one by one, characters who you didn't expect to have singing talent (i.e. such as the janitor or football coach) have proven themselves.

I highly highly recommend this show, it does not disappoint and every minute of it is packed with entertainment!

Lauren's First Oscar

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I found this picture and wanted to post it here...seemed relevant :)

Words of Wisdom

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This past week in The Business of Representation, we had a Producer come in and talk. I just wanted to touch on two things that he said quickly.

#1: He explained to the class that he started out painfully shy.

He hated having to take lunch meetings and would often order food and then go to the bathroom and hide out for fifteen minutes. He got in trouble with his boss for his expense report being too low! When he wanted to make phone calls...he would stare at the phone for ages before he would finally pick it up and make the call.

This was really nice to hear, to me personally. I know I have come a long way and most people are surprised when I tell them I am shy...but somehow I still see myself as the shy little girl I once was. I know I have definitely come a long way, but I know there is still room for improvement yet...and its nice to think that he started out shy and managed to mature and find great success as a producer. If he can do it, then so can I right?!

#2: The people who work the hardest finish first.

This has always been one of my greatest attributes--my work ethic. I love working hard and feeling productive, which is probably going to turn out to be a big career booster! I have always been smart luckily, but I'm not a genius by any means...I really do earn the grades I get and deserve the opportunities I am offered. Its just nice to hear that in spite of all the nepotism in Hollywood and the hoops that one has to jump through to be in this industry, that those who work the hardest really are the ones to find success in the end.

Whip It

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Yesterday morning, I went and spent some quality time by myself. I went to see Whip It. Sometimes when you get too excited about a movie, even if its decent, you end up being disappointed...just because you were too anxious and expected more. This was not the case with Whip It! I loved it!

The film has a great message--be your own hero. And the idea of girl power engulfs the entire movie. Its not entirely predictable--as sweet films like this often can be, and that is a breath of fresh air! It was funny, touching and the characters shone. Marcia Gay Harden was great as the traditional small town mother who wants her daughter to be all that she can be. She clearly loves her daughter, but it is tough for her to relate to Bliss. And I LOVED Daniel Stern's football fan father character...one of my favorite moments of the film was when he nailed his daughter's derby number into his front lawn...just like the neighbor with two football playing sons had done (and had earlier scoffed at Daniel Stern's daughters coming home in pageant dresses). He also had one of the best lines when he says "I can risk losing the money [about her $800 pageant dress], but what I can't risk is a chance for our kid to be happy." And of course, Ellen Page is a joy as always. She embodies her characters through and through and brings with her so many character quirks. This movie is fun all the way through and I doubt this is the last we'll see of Drew Barrymore's directing talents! (It was so cute, she had Steven Spielberg there at the premiere to support her on her first directing gig!)

Go GIRLS!

Anne Frank Influence

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"I don't want to live in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I've never met. I want to go on living even after my death!"

-Anne Frank (April 5, 1944)


I first read the Diary of Anne Frank when I was 11. This quote stuck out in particular to me and is something I have always remembered...perhaps because it was exactly the way I felt.

When we read the book in school, boys would laugh at Anne call her "dumb" and "lame." I never called them out on it, because middle school life is all about appearing "cool." But I remember thinking that I felt a sort of camaraderie with her...she was someone I desperately wished I could have met. I felt like she was the only person who ever might have gotten me. I desperately wanted to be assured that might my life was going to matter.

I suppose I still feel that way, only my interpretation of "mattering" has changed a bit. I see now that making my life matter doesn't necessarily mean everyone in the world needs to recognize my name. Helping a child learn to read or helping out a friend in a time of need--this stuff helps life matter too. Contributions don't have to change the whole world, for touching just one can leave a mark :)

Ask Lauren

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I think its really funny that I seem to be the one people go to when they have relationship or guy/girl advice. I mean, I've only had one really serious relationship, and yet, I guess I give good perspective because people keep coming back for more. Haha. I like it though, I enjoy being able to help.

Recently, one of my friends texted me saying that a girl had given him her number the previous night at a party. He asked me if he should ask her out to coffee. I said definitely yes, after all, what have you got to lose!

I recommended texting which is less forward than a call, plus it gives the girl time to think. I never pick up numbers I don't recognize...so a text is a good plan in this case.

I also suggested that he not specify a day and time to get together but to leave it more open, such as, "Hey! I had a lot of fun talking to you last night, would you like to get coffee sometime this week when you are free?" It can be confusing when you ask her out for coffee on Thursday at 2pm because the girl might say she has class...and you don't know if she is just saying this to get out of seeing you or if she really does have class (but would like to go out with you another time). So asking in an open-ended fashion is a good way to go.

FYI, girls like to be asked out, even if they decide to say no in the end. The timing might not be right or they really just might not be interested. But that doesn't change the fact that they, more often than not, appreciate the bravery and open interest. So don't be shy to ask!

Drumroll Please!

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Now online:

www.laurengabel.com


YAYYYYY

All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup

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So tonight I helped out a friend's cousin by standing in as a hair model. She is an assistant stylist (which is apparently like an internship) at an upscale salon. Every week, the assistants take classes in different styling techniques.

This week, was up-dos. So I got to have my hair fashioned after a picture of Kate Winslet at the Oscars. It took a while since the instructor kept taking parts down (this is a training session mind you), but it was really interesting to watch and I had fun doing it!

Here are some pics of my hair after the fact:




Sugar Rush Uploaded Finally!

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This is the film that I assistant directed all last semester. It most recently gained acceptance to the Austin Film Festival! Yay!

Its actually pretty funny, check it out if you have time!



It looks kinda tiny and squished but I don't know how to change that! Ha.

Let's Sound It Out Together

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This morning, I had my first day at West Vernon elementary school helping out with literacy. I am in a 1st grade class room and the kids are absolutely adorable!

My job in the classroom is to help out during reading time. While the teacher instructs the class, I take the kids to the back of the room one at a time to practice reading with them.

One little girl, would read with her face practically touching the paper...she would get closer and closer to a word as she tried to sound it out. The longer it took her, the closer to the paper she'd get. Another boy was great, but he could not get the plural Ss at the end of words! He skipped it every time.

All in all, I was actually pretty impressed with them. One little girl missed words frequently, but she always noticed when she misread it (without me telling her) and she'd go back and correct herself. She was so proud when she got it right, she'd smile really big--revealing her missing front four teeth! Adorable.

I can't wait to see them again Wednesday :)

I wish I was able to have two careers....one with kids and one in film!

The Assistant Director's Bible!

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My friend Craig wrote this document on tips for Assistant Directors...its very well-thought out and true, so I thought I'd include it here...just in case there are any aspiring ADs out there!

Close the Set: the Assistant Director’s Bible
by Craig Ormiston


You are in charge. Sure, the director might have the vision and the producer might be paying the bills, but you run the show. Your responsibility, your skill. You keep the clock. You stay under budget. And not to alarm, but you (in part with the key grip) are legally liable for anything that goes wrong. Keep the set safe, happy, and alive.

Ten Verbs of Wisdom for a Healthy Production

1. Inspire. Arouse in your crew an eager want. Remind them that they’re not at a desk. They have the best job in the world. Make them happy about doing what you suggest.
2. Anticipate. Production is like doing a jigsaw puzzle on a waterbed – plan for the worst. Identify at least five things that could go wrong during each scene and plan for them. No shoot is impregnable.
3. Name. A person’s name is the sweetest sound to them in the world. Know everyone’s name. Say it to them often and always embed it in every request.
4. Smile. From the bottom of your heart. It’s contagious. A happy set is an efficient set.
5. Listen. Let each person do the talking. Collect as much information as possible. Know everything.
6. Forgive. Never criticize, condemn or complain. If someone made a mistake, they already know and should not have to hear it again. If they don’t know or make the mistake a second time, call attention to it indirectly.
7. Assure. Encourage crew by making every fault or mishap seem easy to correct. Be confident. If you are not confident, be confident about not being confident. Get people to feel confident about you.
8. Request. Ask questions instead of directly giving orders. Let the other person feel like the idea is his or hers. Nobody likes being told what to do. And nobody likes being yelled at. Do you?
9. Pacify. Avoid arguments. Never tell someone they are wrong. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. If you cannot avoid an argument (or cannot resolve other people’s arguments), do not let the crew see it – move ugly out of the way.
10. Praise. Make each person feel important and necessary. Reward good work with honest and sincere appreciation. Acknowledge what each person is doing right. Commend every improvement.

The Production Meeting
1. Debrief the previous shoot. Always begin with a compliment.
2. Throw down a challenge. Give the crew a reputation to live up to. Your crew will take you more seriously with clean, pretty paperwork. Assume they don’t want to read it, so make it worth looking at.
3. Distribute sides for the upcoming shoot. Read every line of action aloud to the crew. Highlight every little prop, stunt, set dress, costume, vehicle, effect, movement, etc. and stop as you read to ask each department if they’ve got it taken care of.
4. You are in charge of all people and equipment. Make sure both will be there in time for the shoot. Make phone calls. Double check. Call sheets should be detailed and to the point (but never rely on them!). Remind the crew that being on time is late in this business - call time is work time, not coffee chitchat time. If you move call times earlier or later than planned, call each person.
5. You cannot cure a disease by suppressing symptoms. Address problems directly and invite everyone to be honest about their issues. Do not leave the meeting until solutions are reached and hands shake. Discontent grows like a tumor if not treated quickly.

Collaborating With the Director

1. Spontaneity is laziness. Don’t let any director or crew member convince you otherwise. Creativity lies in the battle plan, not the attack. “Wingin’ it” is not an option.
2. Wrangle the director and cinematographer on location or set to walk through the coverage, commit to shots, and schedule them efficiently. Do this as early as possible, but AT LEAST do it the morning before the shoot. Order shots for the day to accommodate lighting and inspire the director to be okay with that. Know every shot better than the director does.
3. Train the director to tell you whether or not he or she likes the take immediately after taking it. If they are not happy and you have time to get it again, announce“we’re going again” without delay. If the director is happy, check with everyone else first. Never announce that you are “moving on” until director, camera, and sound all confirm that they accept the take.

On Set
1. Start the day off with circle time. Get everyone’s attention, wish them a good morning, and inspire them. Take control. Remind everyone about safety and identify specific concerns (no matter how small). Make sure no one has any questions. Get the director to talk the crew through the day’s coverage. Simple and quick. Then orchestrate the first setup.
2. Learn to speak efficiently before you can act efficiently. Tell the truth. Honesty is a virtue. Stick to the facts. Say what you know, not what you think. “I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer. Misinforming is more harmful that saying nothing at all. Teach everyone to do the same.
3. Only three things should ever be happening on a film shoot: rehearsing, lighting, or shooting – and nothing else. Know what we’re waiting for.
4. Remember that everyone read the script.
5. It’s your job to coordinate background. Give extras a role. A name. Specific blocking. Make them feel like actors and not extras. Keep them engaged and away from the craft table.
6. Yelling “quiet on set” is ironic. The crew knows this, too. Set an example. Ask everyone to quiet down quietly if you can. And remember: people like hearing their name; if you target the source of the yap by name, that person will listen.
7. Keep producers and the director up to date on time. Never surprise anyone with the clock. Constantly stay in touch with crew heads. Ask for time estimates AND make your own based on what needs to be done. Set time deadlines and update everyone on the countdown. Five-minute warnings are important.
8. Make sure boom and camera are talking to each other. They should be best friends. If the boom slips into frame, it’s everyone’s fault. Unite the departments.
9. People need to do their job – and nobody else’s. If anyone has a problem or concern about another department or crew member, make sure they tell you first.
10. Keep everyone out of the actor’s eye line. Have your back to them if necessary. Don’t move during a take. Do not let any member of the crew concern themselves with anything outside their department during a take – especially performance. There’s nothing they can do about it anyway.
11. Take good notes. Times, problems, delays, names, injuries, everything. Have your 2nd A.D. help you take notes and monitor attendance.

Rehearsal
1. Keep rehearsal simple. Get the crew to stand where the camera will be. Make sure everyone is paying attention while the director runs through blocking. Then walk through the coverage.
2. Show, don’t tell. Make sure the crew hears AND sees what you and the director imply. Keep everyone on the same page. Invite questions.
3. There are three types of rehearsal: blocking, marking, and tech rehearsal. Blocking demonstrates for the crew where the actors will be so the scene can be lit; marking refines blocking to collect focus and cue marks; and tech runs the scene as it will be shot.
4. When the actors are rehearsing, the crew should be quiet. When the crew is lighting, the actors should be quiet. Keep actors away from set as much as possible and always know where they are. Have the actors present as soon as you are ready for them.

Safety
1. Safety means liability, and liability is omnipresent. The producers dread lawsuits. If you don’t care about safety as an A.D., you are a wallet with a huge hole in it. The fewest accidents happen when you are shooting stunts; accidents usually happen when the shoot is easy.
2. Record every accident on the production report, no matter how small. Always be honest on the report – it is a legal document and will be reviewed. This piece of paper might keep you out of jail.
3. Know where the fire extinguisher and first aid kit is. Keep multiple paths clear as fire exits. Always have an out and let the crew know where it is.

Conclusion
Be yourself and don’t be afraid. Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right. This job is not for the squeamish, but I know you can do it. Making a movie isn’t hard – people are hard. Lead well and you will win. If the day goes well, you get the credit. Don’t stress. Be flexible. Making a film is an organic process. It is an art. Have fun and love your job; if you do, people will love you.

Words from A Talent Manager

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In week three of The Business of Representation class, we had a manager come talk to our class. He has an amazing client list and really had an interesting perspective on things! Here are some of the things we talked about...

How did you get into management?
Well I actually started out in music management. I got a job in the mail room at Capitol Records...and managed a few people on the side. I managed to get a job at a small management company...it only had 4 people, but then it grew. Its a different path than I'd recommend.

How do managers differ than agents?

Agents can't produce, managers can. Managers are also technically not supposed to find employment, but that is a rule that I break nearly every day. You would be crazy in this day and age not to have both a manager and agent, the more people you have out there pitching for you, the better. Its a tough business and you want to have lots of people in your corner. With Agents, everyone has a speciality, some work in concerts, corporate shows, commercials, literary, TV, movies, etc. Agents specialize. While Managers, on the other hand, they have to know about a lot of different areas. Most of his/her clients do different things...if you can't get David Spade on TV , you try to get him on the road, etc. It takes longer to be a manager and its a harder road because you ahve to learn a lot. The talent will really look to you to explain everything to them and you are often doing multiple things at once.

Who do the studios call first, the Manager or Agent?
It really depends on who they have the best relationship with...but as soon as they call me, I'll immediately call the Agent...and vice versa.


What do you do if the client doesn't agree with you?

My rule of thumb is to always tell the client the truth, first and foremost. Its worth losing a client, to tell the truth. There is a movie coming out soon that I begged my client not to do, but she was friends with the Producer and they convinced her to do it.

How do you find clients?

Well if you want to be a good manager, you really have to be resourceful and go to the places that no every manager is going to. You have to find the really bizarre places. Sometimes kids in the office will wonder why they aren't getting promoted and I'll tell them--its because you need to be out there every single night at the alternative comedy places and clubs, seeking out prospective clients, you need to read the trades, and constantly be searching for the next big talent...you gotta read and go above and beyond the call of duty.

What do you do when you produce a show as a manager?
Well first of all, I will never take a credit on a show just because my client is on the show...I only take a cred if I am actually going to be a hands on producer...this is not the case with all Managers though. When you are working on a show, you really have to pick and choose your battles though, and its tough at times. On one of my client's shows, I constantly had to back my client and sometimes I would back him to his face and then do what was right for the show. My obligation was to his career, first and foremost, and sometimes what is best for the show is a better idea than backing what he wants. Actors often make decisions based on emotions and its your job to see through that and look out for their career.

What advice do you have for someone hoping to go into the representation business?

Well I think the best and smartest way to get into representation, is to get a job at an agency, go into the trainee program. This will teach you what everyone's job is and what people do. You really learn the business and how networks work. If you are smart and resourceful, you build relationships...it really is all about relationships in this business. My value to clients is that Bruckenheimer and Katzenberg will take my calls--this is so important. Or that you have someone in the office who has a relatinoship with that person to call. Its a great idea to intern at UTA, CAA, or Endeavor.

Appreciation goes a long way

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So today started off with an interview with an independent producer, searching for a paid production assistant to help him out.

After that I went home and memorized some interview questions because at 3, I had another interview for Life After Film School--a Fox Movie Channel program.

I was kind of nervous at first, but I think I got pretty into it and actually did an okay job. We'll see what happen with that...I'm not expecting anything. It would be really cool to get to meet all those filmmakers though!

After that it was coffee with Lucy! I miss that girl! Ran into Tomer and talked a little bit about the short film he was directing...he asked me what my experience was like working with my director last semester. I told him that Mike used to drive me absolutely nuts, as he did with most everyone on the crew. But at the end of the day, he would come up to you and make some really nice comment about how much he appreciated your hard work and it would make all the hard feelings melt away. I always went home loving him, even if I wanted to kill him during the day.

That evening, I heard from one of his crewmembers that Tomer sent out a thank you note to his crew :)

Dorm Life Webseries

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So my friend introduced me to this funny little webseries on Hulu called Dorm Life.

Its really simple and is totally the sort of thing that makes you go: "now why didn't I think of that?!" Its pretty funny, although some of the characters are a little too over the top. It plays a lot like the Office, but in a dorm.

Take a look if you are bored...the episodes are only about 5 minutes each so they go by quickly and are entertaining for an evening of boredom!

http://www.hulu.com/dorm-life

Conversation with a Producer

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So this week at CAA, we had a Producer come in and talk. He has worked on a large slate of highly succesful films!

Here are a few of the things we touched on...

So what are the primary responsibilities of a producer working at a studio?
Well your first duty is to go out and find ideas for films, whether it be from books or spec scripts (which is rare), or simply sitting around and discussing movie topics. Once you find the idea, you need to find the right person to write it--its very much like match-making actually. You guess at a person's talent and their ability to write this idea. You are usually wrong, but hopefully you are just right enough for the studio execs to start seeing the movie and to hire another writer (instead of just tossing the project)...often you are throwing out at least 300,000 per writer, so this can be a costly procedure!

If the studio is taking care of physical production, banking, marketing, and distribution...how much power do you have as Producer?
Right now, there is less money than every available to studios and everyone is fearful. It is your job to convince studios to make the movie you want to make and to convince them that it is relevant in today's market. Every movie is a power struggle. If you are doing a movie with Ridley Scott, and you are a young producer, he is going to be the one with all the power...but if you are doing a movie with a little-known Director, you are going to be the one with the power. If you have just gotten off of a successful film, you are always going to have a leg up with the studios; and likewise, if you have a flop, you are going to have less leverage with studios.

So is the producer basically the one who puts everything together? This title seems so loose, there seem to be all different kinds of producers, can you explain the difference?
Yes, well the Producer is basically the one who has a sense of what the movie should be...he/she is the one who tries to realize the dream of what the movie can be. This person is the one dealing with all the financial stuff, but there is also a ton of creative involved as well. He is the one on the project before the direct, at the time of the writer, and he is the one that is there at the end as well. The Producer is the one who gets to pick up the Academy Award for Best Picture.
The Executive Producer can be a variety of things...often times this is the manager who put it together, or could be a manager who didn't really do anything but just had the right client. Steven Spielberg is sometimes listed as an executive producer because his name helps sell a movie; he might have once upon a time found a good story and said it should be made, and then a studio might throw him a fee and in return, get to use his name. Associate Producer is much the same, usually its just someone who was given a credit as leverage. Line Producer is the one who is on set and making sure everything runs smoothly.

If you are a studio Producer, does that mean you only get to work with one studio?
No, what it means is that the studio you have a first look deal with has the right to all your projects first. If that studio doesn't want it, then you are free to take the project to another studio. When you have a first look deal at a studio, that basically means that the studio is paying the salaries of your executives and assistants and puts up the money to run your company. Often times these production companies are on the studio lots, but not always. We took Gladiator to Sony and they didn't want it, so we then took it to Dreamworks. In return, Dreamworks paid Sony a fee (since they were paying to upkeep our production facilities during the production).

What happens if a studio decides to take a project on and develops it, but then decides to drop it...can you take it to another studio?
Yes, this is called "turnaround." If Sony decides they are no longer going to continue on with a project, they will often give it back to you and allow you to take it to another studio; however, if Paramount picks up the film, they will be required to pay Sony back for whatever funds were spent developing the project. Often times, studios will make a deal to move a project from Sony to Paramount...but they can't pay back the 500,000 spent on development fees, so they will give 10% upfront, and then if the project is ever viable, Sony will get paid in full. This is a kindness among studios. Another thing to mention is that if you add an element, you are legally required to go back to the original studio and let them know before offering the project up to another studio. This basically means that if Sony drops a project, but then you get Brad Pitt to say that he wants to do the project...you must go back to Sony and inform them of the "changed elements" and give them a chance to come back on board before taking the script to Paramount.

How do you get a first look deal with a studio?

It changes all the time. Studios are always trying to figure out how to get movies. There was a stage where they thought younger people knew something...and that's how I got lucky. In my particular case, I was working for a director and they tried to hire me as a studio executive, but I said I only wanted to be a producer, so they took us on. If a producer has a couple hits, the person's agent will usually get a studio to meet with him/her and try to set up a first look deal.

What has been your shortest time frame between pitching a movie and starting filming?
2 or 3 years.

Hilarious video...check it out

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Its extremely simple, and yet it totally cracked me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5HiolJsPi4

Please boys, take a hint

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Okay so I already spoke earlier about the dude who kept using the "gorgeous" and "babe" speech. But I felt I should follow up on that story since this is kind of comedic...

So just a re-cap for those who didn't read my post below...met a dorky guy at a club, accidentally gave him my number. We chatted via facebook for a while and he seemed like a sweet kid, then he asked me to dinner, I said yes and he immediately started acting all cocky and texting me all day using sappy language. So I told him I couldn't go out (told him I didn't feel well, which wasn't a lie).

ANYWAYS, he keeps texting me all the time anyways. Then last night I get this:

"What's ur fav romantic movie? Frozen yogurt flavor and topping? Personal trait? Biggest turn off? the most memorable thing Ive said 2 u? Do u like surprises?"



I responded because I'm a nice person and hate ignoring people:

"When Harry Met Sally (I like Gone with the Wind and Casablanca but both of those end sadly); vanilla with oreo; ambition; baby talk; ha dunno; hate surprises"


He asks some more questions but I don't respond (I'm busy getting ready to go out)...Then 40 minutes later I notice that I have gotten 4 texts from him...

"I gotta be random w u. u don't respond well 2 blantant interest, prob bc bar/club exp. has told u tat bc ur cute, guys will do anything 2 get w u."

"Eh, im not tat way, but doesnt every1 say that? 1 want 2 get 2 kno u really. im in the same boat, very focused on my future, but u seem worth gettin 2 kno.

"So im jst havin fun askin u random questions that pop in2 my head. like: fav hobby? what made you fall in love? how many kids do u want? Fav restaurant?"

"I don't think you like it when im very open like that? I dont kno why. It wud be nice 2 kno what goes on in ur head."



I was kind of lost by all that but responded saying:

"Woah that was a lot of texts. I appreciate your honesty and interest but I really am not interested in you in that kind of way (aka romantic way), you are very nice and sweet but I don't want to lead you on."


So then he immediately goes on the defensive and I get these series of texts...literally one after the other...

"No prob, I actually appreciate the honesty. yeah I felt the same way, but figured i didn't want 2 make a call on it til i actually hung out w u once."


...Few minutes later...

"I always try 2 give ppl a very good chance before I decide. Would hate 2 misjudge someone's potential."

Me: No worries

"No prob, haha, its okay...I already knew we weren't gonna work; totally diff ppl, but great in our own ways. Tkae care babe. Hope u get everything u want in life."



So I thought that was the end of it...but then I get a FB CHAT from him.

Him: Hey thought this would be easier to chat on! So were you ever interested in me? Like when you met me at Hwood? I have a hard time knowing when girls are flirting with me or not...I was in a relationship that ended 2.5 mo ago and so I'm a little slow on this stuff right now.

Me: I flirt with everyone. Girls included.

Him: Haha, that should be your pickup line! I hear a lot of guys are into that...not me, I think its really gross when girls make out...but some guys think its really hot. Don't really understand why.

Me: Ummmm, I'm bi

Him: Oh really??
Well I actually have a lot of friends who are bi, believe it or not.
I'm not homophobic, I'm actually pretty liberal socially.........



I let him suffer for a while before telling him I wasn't really bi.

Career Tips from Exec at Leading Talent Agency

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Monday morning, I had the great opportunity to meet with an executive at one of the leading talent agencies (I'm keeping his name secret for privacy's sake!). My dad's best friend golfs with him and so he arranged for us to meet.

He had a lot of great advice, that I thought would be good to share here.

He started out by telling me that in this business, there are two sides...

The business side--which encompasses agents, managers, lawyers, studio execs, producers, etc.

And the purely creative side--actors, writers, and directors.

He says that when you are going to go into entertainment, its good to figure out which side you want to be in. Not that nobody ever switches, but its much more difficult than say, switching from a manager to an agent. He says he does know agents that have turned writer and such though, so it definitely does happen.

He then explained that for the business side, starting out at an agency in the mail room and going through the agent trainee program can be a great way to learn about the business because agencies are kind of at the center of everything. They deal with actors, writers, directors, studios, lawyers, etc. This is actually something I have heard before from others.

Next I asked about graduate school....he didn't seem to think it was going to be necessary at all...unless you seriously want to be an entertainment lawyer. You have to start at the bottom and work your way up pretty much regardless of your education. This is something that I have definitely realized...when I was working on set, I was a PA and on the same level as the kid who didn't go to college at all. I knew what all the equipment was called and yet I wasn't allowed to touch it because I was just a PA. The more time that goes by, the more I have come to realize it doesn't really matter what you major in to get into entertainment...the best part about USC is the networking and contacts you build while at school. Everything else you can learn once you get out there and are working in the real world. I mean school definitely makes you a smarter assistant, but the english major, the economics major, and the film major are all going to start out on the same level.

The next thing I asked was about networking and how you build up a solid base of contacts, which is essential to being a good agent. This was one of the most interesting things I learned during my meeting. He said that the only thing that was important was to build contacts among the people in "your class" (i.e. the people you are in the mail room with, the people you go to school with, the people around your age)...these are going to be the filmmakers of tomorrow. Its not as necessary to build contacts with older people because these probably aren't going to be the people working when you are an agent (or whatever you want to be). So networking really not this ominous difficult task, as it might seem.

Next up, it was...what are the characteristics that you feel make a great agent?
1. Great social skills...this is all about building relationships with people...both clients and others who will can use your clients. You have to be a good communicator and be able to connect with people.
2. Extremely strong work ethic. You will never get off at 5PM--its very intense. You gotta be the one out there always going the extra mile in order to succeed.
3. Lastly, you have to passion about the business through and through. You have to be ready to have less time and less money than all your friends not working in film. But passion is what makes people go far in this business.

Noticing his family pictures on the mantle, I asked about how he managed to balance out family life with work. He said that it is very hard. He didn't get married until later in life. There are always people who are the exception to the rule and make it work. But its difficult to work super long hours and have a spouse/children...you miss out on a lot and that can lead to resentment, or you aren't going to at work and might miss out on opportunities for advancement.

He gave me a lot of good things to think about. He ended the meeting by saying that when I graduate to let him know and if I'm interested, he can set me up with the woman who manages the trainee hiring. That would be really cool if I could get started there! We'll see what happens though, this is a crazy business! I love it though :)

Woo

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So I got a bunch of responses back today...

The script supervisor who I worked with on an indie feature said I could come shadow her at work (as long as it was okay with the next production she was on). So yay!

AND I sent an email to Diablo Cody's agent asking her to forward a note I had written along. She sent an email back saying it was a very sweet note and that she'd be happy to pass it on! Woooo!

Women in Film & Tips From A Scripty

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I've decided that I'm going to start writing to women in film who have careers I'd like to emulate or who I think I could learn something from.

I started tonight. I wrote several emails to some script supervisors and to a few writers. We'll see if I get anything back, but I figure that if I send out enough, someone is bound to read it and agree to meet with me!

One script supervisor wrote me a nice note in response to my email about working in Dallas vs. LA (she is based out of Dallas).

Thanks for the compliments.

You've asked a tricky question. This industry tends to be very cyclic: one
place is the hotspot now, but two years later, it's somewhere else. Things
happen like union strikes and film incentive programs that cause work to
migrate to certain areas. Sometimes Texas is a happening place; sometimes
not. Since Texas is so big, you might live in Dallas and miss out on
everything going to Austin or vice versa.

Two places you can ALWAYS count on film work are NY and LA. However, that's
where the competition is most fierce. Plus, they're union towns, and the
cost of living there is very high. I don't know your personal situation,
but you might want to consider marrying and raising a family there vs.
Texas. I've known a lot of people that started off in Texas, moved to LA to
work on the big stuff, then moved back to Texas to raise a family.

Last year, I worked pretty steadily until August, then I didn't work again
until March (when I accepted a job on a TV series as a logger for a PA
rate). I didn't work again until July, when I did 2 movies back to back.
I've had to turn one down in Louisiana and I've got another one that
hopefully will start in mid-October. So now I'm busy again. It's always like
this, and I've been freelancing for almost 20 years. It's always feast or
famine.

So consider these factors in making your decision:
One of a handful of scriptys vying for a handful of movies (Texas) or one of
a thousand scriptys vying for one of a thousand movies (LA).
Quality of life
Family and personal connections

You can always work for a while in one place, and then move if things don't
work out or you want to change things up. No decision is forever. If you're
in LA already, you have a place to stay and friends and contacts--what about
trying to start your career there? You can always come back home and stay
with your family to regroup in Austin, but if you come back to Austin you
may find it hard to go back and start over in LA.

Good luck to you!

Eve

HOOK UP LESSONS

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Okay so I was bored the other night and I decided to post an ad on the adult section of craigslist, advertising hook up lessons. I felt like stirring up a little trouble :)

So anyways, I got a bunch of responses...and one very strange surprise...my ex-boyfriend actually answered the ad. Talk about a SMALL WORLD. Apparently him and his roommates were up til 5AM answering adult ads on craigslist for laughs. I texted him the next day and we got a kick out of it.

Something else kinda funny, this guy from Boston got to talking to me...I told him it was a fake ad...and we are now like penpals. He started telling me about this woman that he is engaged to but isn't so sure he actually wants to marry now. We are kind of going back and forth advising each other and stuff. He is a website creator and made . Its pretty cool...I recommend checking it out. It has great nightlife suggestions and is full of ideas for things to do for whatever city you live in.

Say Cheese

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I haven't posted any pictures in a while. So I thought I'd add a few cute ones.

talking to women makes men thick

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So last weekend my friends and I went to HWood. I knew a promoter so we got in for free and even got some bottle service.

We immediately started dancing. This pretty cute guy came up and we danced for about half an hour. He was with two dorky friends who were dancing with my friends. After a while I lost my friends and I decided to leave the cute guy to go find the girls.

A while later, I lost my friends again (this is story of my life) and looking around, the only person I recognized was one of the cute guy's dorky friends. So I went up and started talking with him. He was really sweet, nerdy for sure...a little socially awkward. But we had a pretty good conversation.

He friended me on Facebook and we continued talking about random stuff, until he finally asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner that night. I had just made plans to go to dinner and a movie with another boy, so I asked if we could do it Saturday.

So later that evening, he starts texting me, calling me "gorgeous" and "babe" and using really sappy language that I don't like at all. All of a sudden, he was acting all cocky and shit. I didn't understand it at all! Someone smart forwarded me the link to this article, , which talks about how attractive women make men stupid. I can only assume that I am the cutest girl who has ever agreed to go out to dinner with him....what can I say, I've always liked nerds...and he got nervous or something. But the way he was acting was totally a turn off and I ended up canceling the date.

I felt bad, but better he know up front than let him pay for dinner for me.

Doing My Part

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Yesterday I went to West Vernon (one of the lowest performing elementary schools in the state) and facilitated and after school program teaching drama! It was really fun...the kids were adorable and it felt nice giving back in this way. I was surprised because the boys were the ones who were the most into it and were actually quite good. I expected the girls to be the ones who let loose a little more and the guys to be more awkward about things...but the opposite was actually true. Then later in the evening, I went to a literacy training program at West Vernon....I'm going to be helping out Monday mornings in a 1st grade classroom with reading. I think its going to be a lot of fun!

Sugar Rush in Austin Film Festival!

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I'm so excited! The movie I worked on all last semester has gotten into the Austin Film Festival! I can't wait to go home and see it screen...its going to be AWESOME!

It Starts

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Well I finally figured out what classes I'm taking and I am almost completely registered for everything! We had Monday off this week, which is nice. I only have 2 classes this week!

I've read 10 books in the last 7 or so weeks, pretty darn good!

I haven't been great about going to the gym, but at least I am going two or three times a week...its better than nothing for sure.

Don't know which screenplay idea I am going to commit to and write character bios for and a beat sheet for my screenwriting class! Ugh, gotta nail that down!

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

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Well I have just finished my 9th book in about 5 weeks. I can't deny that I'm pretty proud of myself. I feel like I owe a lot of it to these new pills I'm taking. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I had actually finished a book! I used to read all the time, but for ages my concentration had been so bad because of anxiety and I just couldn't get through anything.

While it isn't the high-brow literature that I often gravitate to, Neil Strauss's "The Game" has been a fun little piece of entertainment and a bit of a learning tool. Although it may seem sexist outwardly, in the end the seduction process is really about making the guys themselves more confident and finding in themselves the interesting, fun, relaxed nature that has been there all along. The guys who don't discover themselves and leave the community by the end, are considered the losers in the book. They are basically social robots.

I'm kind of excited to go out into the real world and see if someone tries to "sarge" me. I totally called a guy who the other night by asking if he was "peacocking," which led to a fun conversation about the book. Guys have been really impressed that I've read it.

Of course, the one thing that disturbed me the most about the book, was the rule that the pickup artist never buys a girl a drink....I dunno about you, but that would never work for me. If I'm talking to a guy and my drink runs out and he doesn't buy me another one, I don't think he has enough interest in me or the conversation and I go back to my friends and maybe start talking to someone new. They aren't worth my time if they aren't enough of a gentleman to get me a drink.

Securing an Internship

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I had two internship interviews today. At HBO and a visual effects company, Digital Domain. They both seemed like fun opportunities. We'll see what happens! Wish me luck. I got another response from CAA Agency for a research assistant intern position...it is paid as well. I hope I can get lucky this semester and find someone to finally pay me for my intern work! Its annoying how difficult it is to find a paying internship within the film industry.

STD=Badge of Honor??

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I read this article today about a study done in Sweden in which males between the ages of 16 and 34 claimed that contracting an STD made them feel more like a man. Many, apparently, see it as a symbol of sexual success and power.

Are they CRAZY?!? This is the most out of whack thinking I have ever heard. An STD, to me, is a symbol of stupidity--because these people didn't even know how to protect themselves from disease!

The article states that some girls worry about "upsetting" a guy, by asking him to wear a condom--and to these girls, I'd say, you are more worried about what he will think of you then asking a simple question that could spare you a lifetime of humiliation!? Because I think you will upset future guys a lot more when you tell them you have an STD because you were too stupid to ask him to wear a condom!

Would You Kiss A Girl?

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"I feel much safer with girls, so I felt more comfortable kissing her in the movie than kissing any of the other people that I had to kiss."

I have seen this quote a couple times now. I don't really see what the big deal is! Girls feel comfortable with other girls, there isn't any expectation as there might be with a boy. Most girls have practiced making out with their friends. I remember a time when I had made out with far more girls than boys. Haha, now its been ages since I've kissed a girl. I used to think it was funny and playful...making out is fun after all! And with another girl, you don't have to worry about her trying to get in your pants :)

Thoughts?

The Lovely Bitches

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After months of passing by this book and not paying it much attention, I finally picked up "Why Men Love Bitches." This is NEVER the sort of book I would have read in the past, but after all my recent relationship drama, I was curious to see if this book possibly had something to offer that I was somehow missing.

From the acknowledgement at the beginning, I was sucked in. In Sherry Argov's mindset, the term "bitch" did not refer to some evil encompassed woman, who treated everyone else as if they were cockroaches. But instead, she used "bitch" to denote a woman who respected herself above all else and would never compromise who she is or what she stands for to be with a man. I liked this message so far!

While the book was a incredibly repetitive, perhaps its what some women really need--to be drilled the same ideas over and over again, in order to knock them out of their stringent ways. After all, giving advice to another woman is always easier than actually following your good advice in your own everyday life. I am the sort of girl who likes to wear a tiara when I'm hanging out around the house and expects to be treated like a princess, and of course, I am fully willing to engage in acts of kindness for the guy....but I certainly would not partake in these acts of kindness if they were inequitable.

...Or would I?

A look back at the summer months will prove that I was constantly doing favors for B, and while he was very affectionate and did take care of me on several occassions, I was probably giving more than I was getting.

The book stresses that you should limit your availability to a man. You should not drop everything you are doing when he calls and invites you over or skip out on plans on the chance that he may call. You should live your life and if you are able to pencil him in from time to time, good for you! If not, don't sweat it! Women who are too available will quickly grow boring--because they don't have lives of their own! Men figure these things out and they are way more interested in a woman who has a life.

I realize that in the boredom of a summer in which most of my friends were interning or working 70+ hour weeks, B was the only one around to hang out with at times and I definitely made myself too available to him. He'd go out with friends and then call me to come over afterwards, and I rarely told him I was busy and couldn't come. I was interested in taking these belly dancing classes Thursday mornings, but each week, I was too cozy in his bed to get up and go to those classes. I went out to breakfast with him instead. These are just a few examples of how I acted like the silly girl that I typically pride myself in NOT BEING!

So now I am fully prepared for my next relationship. I am always going to be nice and polite and appreciative...but I will not make myself too available, I will demand respect and full integrity--because I don't have to be there! And I will definitely put myself first the next time, after all, boys come and go...but the relationship you have with yourself, that's the one that lasts forever.

Has anyone else read the book and have an opinion? Or simply want to vent about examples of how we don't take our own good advice? :)

50 days of summer

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I saw 500 days of summer tonight with my mom. I would have loved it normally, but tonight it reminded me way too much of the situation i recently went through. except that i was the pathetic joseph gordon-levitt and the boy was summer. except that in this situation he wasn't as upfront as summer. at least SHE told him that she didn't want a relationship at the very start.

I just spluged on a bunch of itunes music....its therapeutic for some reason. I don't sing anymore....normally when i'm going through a happy period, i sing a lot...like when I'm in the car...and i haven't done that in a long time.

I got a book about his country from the library...is that pathetic? Maybe....i read the whole thing in one afternoon. I don't think i had any epiphanies though.

Sirens of Titan

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"It took us that long to realize that a purpose of
human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love
whoever is around to be loved." (Vonnegut:220)

This was my favorite line in The Sirens of Titan. I think its a nice message.

Commitment Issues

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I am trying to write this screenplay for my class. I like the subject matter, characters are mildly entertaining. And yet I cannot stick to it! Every time I start working on it, my mind wanders to my newest screenplay idea and all I want to write about is that. I can't decipher which is the more sensible premise to explore. Why must I be so indecisive?! Ugh, its quite annoying really. Bassel always asks me where I want to eat and I always say "I don't care." I usually don't though. As long as it isn't seafood or Vistango, I am usually fine with whatever. I am picky, but can usually find something to eat wherever we go. I always feel that if someone else feels strongly, I'd just assume do what they want because I'm easy. I don't know if this is me not being able to make up my mind, or me just being extremely agreeable. Or maybe somewhere in the middle?

Commitment issues aren't new to me...they seem to pervade my life every which way I go. I am indecisive and am bad at communicating--usually because I can't decide what I want--which causes a lot of problems. Oh well. I've matured a little over the years, but I'm still no expert. Its so much easier to just go with the flow and evade questions...its nice that way for a while...until it isn't. I wish someone would just tell me what to do sometimes. Tell me what to do so that neither me, nor anyone else, gets hurt. But there is no such person. There is only me.

Its been a while...

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Sorry its been ages since I've written...I feel like I go through periods where I have this burning desire to write several times a day and then I forget about you...and leave you hanging for weeks on end, unattended to. I'm sorry for that.

So a quick little summer update...the indie film I was helping out on finished filming. I started taking a screenwriting class--which is stressing me out a tad. Its hard to come up with one idea and stick with it. Every time I start working on it, I think of some other idea and open a word document and start working on that instead. Its quite exasperating. I can't stick to something! I'm supposedly filming a soft core porno next week...we'll see how that goes. Hanging out with a new boy I think. The bar is ridiculously slow, its painful to work these days. Umm that is about it. I will try to write again soon about something more legitimate. Okay talk later. Ciao. Gotta run off to my horribly slow job....where I'll likely make nothing in tips and simply waste my time.

Troy Camp

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So I am back from Troy Camp and I feel like I have this renewed appreciation for the life I have led. The kids were fabulous and I had a ton of fun, but there were a few occurrences that just made me realize how truly fortunate I have been. I was a family member which meant that I hung out with the four cabins in my color team--G2 (third grade girls), B2 (3rd grade boys), G7 (4th grade girls), and B7 (4th grade boys). It was quite different from last year when I was a cabin counselor in that I got to meet a lot more campers.

I absolutely loved B7, the fourth grade boys. They were so cute and fun. One day DJ started telling me about his family and the conversation transitioned into this conversation about violence and scary situations he had witnessed. Other kids joined in the conversation and talked about violent situations in their own families. It was the saddest thing I had ever heard. These kids had seen so much and knew about so much for being so young. They shouldn't have to know about that sort of thing and yet they spoke of it so calmly, as if it was a natural part of life. Spearmint, Fishbag, and I were on the verge of tears the whole time. Everyone listened completely silently. All the 4th graders were so respectful as well, listening intently and even asking questions when they did not understand something. Although everyone was listening, DJ was speaking directly to me, he looked at me the whole time and it made me feel special to be the confidante to such sadness. DJ had also had kidney problems his whole life and a few months ago had 3 surgeries that cured him. He said he wanted to be a surgeon and help kids like him one day. He is just so mature for a 4th grader, he talked about really respecting his parents and all that they did for him, recognizing how hard they work to give him and his brothers a good life here. His brother got a full ride scholarship to Humbolt University, and he seems to look up to his brother so much.

Another instance of sadness occured in the G7 fourth grade girls cabin. There was a girl without an arm there. She was really quiet and it was difficult to get her to engage and participate in activities. I spent a lot of time with her because I felt it was important to make her feel comfortable and included....she always seemed to be off on her own...at the end of the line...etc. I sat by her the first couple nights at campfire. Each night she cried a little bit and I would try to distract her by asking her questions and talking to her about Twilight--she was a big fan. Anyways, one night I was sitting by G2 at campfire and I noticed that she seemed to be crying. her counselor took her off to the side and a few other counselors joined them. Later I saw her being taken down the hill in a car. It wasn't until later that I found out the severity of the situation. Stephanie, that was her name, was taken down to Dr. J and she calmed down a little. She had been sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. But then she started staring into the mirror and they asked her what she was looking at. She said she was looking at a face. They asked her to describe the face and she said there was a lot of hair and an eye. She said it wasn't any of the people in the room. It sounded just like a horror movie. Dr. J insisted that they take her to a psychiatric hospital immediately. Some of the counselors had to drive her all the way back to LA, where her dad met them at the hospital. This poor girl, Dr. J says that it looks like early signs of schizophrenia or another disorder that could last her whole life. It is so scary. Her mother left her family when she was two as well. She has no arm, no mother, is painfully shy, and now a serious psychiatric disorder. It doesn't get much worse.

I know I just talked about lots of sad stuff, but there was tons of happiness too. There was this adorable little girl in G2 who just melted my heart. She moved to the US two years ago and is fluent in English, but would use the funniest phrases and mix up prepositions and stuff. It was literally the most adorable thing ever! She would say things like "take a fart", "have you touched a girl?" (in reference to wanting to give the cootie shot), etc. One of the fourth grade boys flopped on his bed and complained to me that he would just never be good with girls. Another 4th grader at lunch made me cry when he said "no offense or anything, but you know Mario Kart? Because Adrian looks exactly like Bowser." I died laughing...and started cracking up midway through the meal as well. Every time I looked at Adrian--because he really did look like Bowser!

This was a fantastic week. I feel like the kids got a ton out of it, but so did the counselors as well.

A decent day

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Today was pretty good. We had Christine Lahti the actress/director come to our directing class and direct some of the actors in scenes. It was really interesting seeing her work and she had a lot of really great ideas to help perfect the scene. After class, I had my semester conference with Jennifer. I really love that woman. She is just so interested in her students and I feel that she truly has their best interest at heart and is always going out of her way to help us. We went over my production book and then we just talked. She told me that she had really pushed for me and that she was sorry I didn't get a chance to pitch. She said some of the stuff the guys would bring in was just so difficult to compete with. I know its all true, but that is just never going to be my style. I'm not edgy and experimental. I like good characters and a good story. That's it. We talked about Roham for like 15 minutes. She really likes him and is annoyed that Linda is ruining his chances. We talked about how talented he is and how much he deserves the chance at directing. I then talked to her about loving 480. I love being on set and the crew feeling.

I asked Daddy for more money today. I felt horrible asking, but I spent so much on my recent film project! I asked for a hundred and he wrote back saying "I was gonna say 200. But how about we just round it to 500. You work so hard and I am so proud of you." I wrote back telling him he had made my day! To which he responded, "well you have made my life :)"

In the evening I just mostly did work and wasted time on facebook. I think I did some productive stuff tho.

I really wish I could get myself to start writing. I need to get myself in the habit of writing!

life sucks sometimes, and other times it all works out...

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Last week wasn't too great. I had a hard week from finding out I didn't make director to all the boy drama. Two of my friends dropped out of the director race. I am sad they aren't at least giving it a go. They took one of the coveted slots and now they aren't even pitching. Oh well. I guess if I hadn't found a script I felt passionate about it would be difficult to try to act enthusiastic in front of the faculty.

This week has been gruelling, but somehow everything has worked out. I filmed my 475 final directing project last night. I was so stressed leading up to it. I was freaking out about the location, about my actors awful performances, figuring out if I could get it on a medium to edit, etc. Monday night I couldn't sleep because I was so stressed. But somehow things seemed to fall together. After 3 rehearsals, I felt like the actors were finally figuring things out. I didn't feel they were really right for the parts, but it wasn't a train wreck. The hours leading up to the shoot I was freaking out. I was super nervous. I ran around a bit collecting equipment and then had to drive up to Palos Verdes to meet John, whose house we were going to film at. On the way up, he tells me that he found this perfect house for me to film at that would prevent us from having to move locations. Their backyard turned out to be absolutely FABULOUS. It was so gorgeous, overlooking a cliff with the city spread out behind it. So they boys set up the first scene and it looks great, really dynamic and interesting.

We had a minor setback when we learned that the boom mic was broken! Ahhh! I was freaking out. I called my friend Ken who also does sound for 480. He told me he had passed the kit off to Adrian his partner, but managed to get a hold of Adrian who was willing to let me use the kit. So then I call Sonya and beg her to drive it up for me. She graciously agreed. She was supposed to have a meeting with the producer for her music video, Tyler. I told her she should have their meeting while driving up to see me....they could even ride in the carpool lane then! She agreed. I absolutely love her.

The scene went really well. I didn't give too many directions and felt like I wasn't doing much. But the boys kind of took over and decided what it was that we needed. I should have been a little more vocal, but I felt a tad intimidated by their amazingness...and was shy to say too much. I know that isn't how I should be, but I trusted them a lot and I figured the actors weren't going to improve much after all this time of working with them. They were doing fine and I just gave them a few notes here and there. At one point Roham asked me if he could give them a direction and told them something that I had been trying to get them to do for ages on our last practice and was quite difficult....they did it slightly better.

I was really paranoid by the end of the shoot because when we were setting up for the second scene this grumpy neighbor lady yelled at us telling us to be quiet. We tried really hard to be as quiet as possible, but I was soooo paranoid that she was going to call the cops that I rushed things along at a very quick pace, not really paying as much attention to performance as I perfect should have (this was when Roham jumped in).
Oh well I will try to be a little more bold and less worried next time!

Roham was so fabulous through this whole thing. I really can't believe he did all this for me. On the way home, at like 3AM, he scratched my head softly as I drove. I should have been doing that for him...he did most of the hard work! Then he held my hand, and it felt so nice...just what I needed after a stressful week.

I didn't get home til almost 4AM and had to wake up at 8AM to go work on Sonya's music video. At the first location I got to be an extra in her music video as a patron watching a concert. Then I went and did a bit of Production Design for her at another location. It was really fun. The music vid part had tons of people there! And they even had this crazy jib arm thing!

Now I am quite tired and have to settle down and work on my stupid writing 340 paper and production design project. ICK.

Plays, Strippers, and More

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So last night Roham invited me to go see this play that his friend was in. It was called Into the Pines and was at the blackbox on campus. USC's blackbox is really tiny. Ours at Westlake was much nicer. Going to see the play made me nostalgic for high school when I got to participate in all the shows. I really loved doing theatre. Its a shame that I can't participate in acting any more....but film production is just so grueling!

After the show, a group of us went to Santa Monica to this bar. It was pretty fun. We all danced and had a nice time. But then another friend showed up, and I guess he got mad because I was dancing with another friend. So that whole situation was just awkward. I felt like property. Some prize to be won. Not like I even had a say in things! It felt very awkward for me, especially since no one was talking to me about what was going on. It was all being dealt with by the boys.

After that we went to this strip club. It was surprisingly fun. Kind of random. But I had never done it before and I love new experiences! One of the strippers came over and started talking to us. Her name was Monique. She is 25 and she told us she has a 9 year old son! She talked about how he doesn't know what she does for a living, he thinks she goes and sells drinks each night. When she comes home, he asks her, "did you sell a lot of drinks tonight, mommy?" I love kids. Isn't the innocence so sweet. I wish we could all stay like that forever. Not get all caught up in the craziness of the adult world. Everything was so much simpler back then, and pleasure was so easy to come by. Monique told me I was really pretty and invited me up on stage! Luckily I was sobering up and I had enough sense to say no thanks.

Later when I was waiting in line for the restroom, I met this producer guy. He told me that he worked on Marley and Me and Superbad, which is cool. He tried to get me to go into the bathroom with him and do coke, but of course, I graciously declined :) Crazy entertainment people! I wonder if these are the sorts I will always be dealing with....

Seriously.

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I worry that people don't take me seriously. I know my close friends do, but I don't think the vast majority of people do. They see this cute girl who bounces around in dresses and doesn't seem to have a worry in her head. And I know I might perpetuate this image at times because I do like acting friendly and bubbly. But I can definitely be serious and I do have many worthwhile thoughts in my head. I am a smart girl! So many boys are interested in me. I am so worried that they only see me as this piece of ass--someone who isn't going to amount to much, but is fun to mess around with. There aren't a lot of pretty girls in film, really. I get booty calls at least 3 nights a week. I am very flattered that people find me pretty, but I really want to be seen as a serious film student at the same time.

I am too nice also. I feel like I have been such a big person about so many things lately. I suck it up and put my feelings aside for the good of other people because I am too nice of a person and too good of a friend. But that doesn't ever get me anywhere. I know I can't change. I'm never going to be a bitch. I am always going to apologize first because I don't feel staying mad is never worth it and I hate being in fights more than anything. Today I helped out a friend who was chosen as a directing finalist in tossing around some script ideas. It was a bit painful for me to discuss the scripts, as I was not one of the chosen candidates. But I want to give her the best chance possible, so when she asked me if I'd help her, of course, I said yes. I am very happy for her. But now I kind of feel sad for myself right now. Discussing the scripts, reminded me again just how much I wanted this opportunity to prove myself.

The faculty apparently sees nothing worthwhile about me. I feel like I have so much potential and no one ever notices. I am invisible. I wish I'd just blow away with the wind.

Sore & Apprehensive

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I have been trying to get back into an exercise routine. It is tough business. I am extremely sore right now. I worked out on the machine where you lift weights using your inner thighs. And now they hurt like hell. I am hobbling around the house. Its quite comical actually....or would be if it didn't hurt.

Today I also played racquetball, which is way more fun than I realized! I am excited to go back and try it again. I think I started catching onto it by the end. Its quite different from tennis, which I am used to.

Last night was laser tag with the sorority. It was a pretty fun outing! I took this boy named Scully. Not to be confused with Colin Scully. This is a new Scully. He is nice. He is a roommate of my friend BWin, one of the editors on Sugar Rush.

So, I don't think I am going to be able to go to Troy Camp this year....its really sad. I got this cool opportunity working on a film set during May/June and its too cool of an opportunity to give up! I am quite sad really. I feel like I have been getting less and less involved in Troy Camp and that really isn't how I want things to be. But life is just so hectic with all my film stuff. I wish I could do it all, but I can't. And I have to put my career first. I'm worried that people will think its because I don't want to see Jimmy or that I was only doing Troy Camp because he was in it. But neither of those are the case. Oh well.

So they post the long list of 480 directors tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous, but kind of not. I don't think I am going to get picked. I did at first, but our TA didn't seem to act like my 475 was very good, so I'm thinking that I probably won't get picked. I'm kind of terrified actually of getting picked. It might be a relief to not get picked. But then again, it is like the easy way out....it'll prevent me from having to face my fears...which is never a good thing. Pitching is scary business! So I guess we'll see what happens. I will be working at the 9-0 when the list gets posted. But either way I'll know, since I'm sure if I get bbms or texts from friends that will mean I got it...and if I don't, then it means I didn't.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me NOT

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Somehow I always seem to be the center for information and knowledge. I get the random calls and texts from my friends about our film projects....When is the directing project due? How should I format my resume? What time is the meeting? Etc. In addition to the scholarly stuff, I also seem to be a person whom people feel comfortable talking to and relaying information to. I like this role, I like helping people. Sometimes it can be troubling though. I worry that I am giving the best form of advice to people. I know that everyone is different and everyone has different needs in terms of forms of advice. I try to adapt to each friend and be what they need me to be at that particular moment. Whether its advice on something major, or a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to listen to all the thoughts roaming around in their heads.

Sometimes I have to say things that people don't want to hear. That is hard. I have this friend who has been in a troubling relationship for months upon months now. And she just will not give it up. Its the most frustrating thing in the world! I have to counsel her all the time and she still does not see what a bad situation this is. I know that breaking up is hard to do, but if things are bad for a certain amount of time, you just have to be realistic in knowing that they aren't ever going to go back to how they were. Relationships are supposed to be fun! And when they aren't, then they need to end! Relationships shouldn't be that hard!

I am listening to a friend obsess over her ex/current boyfriend (I have lost track) at this very moment. She wants me to tell her that he is still in love with her, but I don't think I can do that. I don't like insisting things that I don't know for sure are true. I don't get girls' hopes up just to make them feel better, I can reassure them that they will find love again. But I'm not going to make up stories about how their boy will definitely come crawling back to them. I am a complete realist about matters of the heart, and I don't think it helps to initiate false hopes in people. Sometimes the truth stinks. But I'd rather hear a stinky truth than a falsity.

Girls are so silly sometimes. I don't get it. For some reason, I have a feeling that my mind works different than a lot of girls my age. I react to things so much differently, I don't obsess over boys or over-analyze what to text to them. I just do it, and I feel confident in my decision without having to ask a gaggle of other girls first. Its funny, because I am so girly in some ways, and so un-girly in others!

Meet the Crew....

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My perception of time this semester has been so incredibly off. I hardly remember what happened when. I guess that is what happens when you are incredibly busy with school. All you can do is worry about what is due the next day and as soon as you finish one assignment and turn it in, you immediately forget about it and start working on the next to-do item. It might seem like an un-enjoyable situation, but I actually really like being kept super busy. Rushing from one place to the next. Of course, a lazy weekend is always appreciated from time to time. But I dislike having too much downtime. I love feeling productive and when I have nothing to do, I can't be productive!

Anyways, we finished editing for Sugar Rush! That is the big news of this week. So that is very exciting. I don't have too much to do for the movie during the post process. I just pop in from time and time down in the basement to see how my boys are doing with editing. I am kind of sad that it is all coming to a close. I really do love our crew. Even though the director, Mike, often drove me crazy from time to time with his optimism (I had to be the realist)...I still think he is a fabulous guy and I enjoyed working with him. He is such a kooky guy haha, he always looks completely high in pictures and has this dorky laugh that is contagious, it totally cracks me up. We had a lot of characters on our crew though.



In addition to Mike, there was Harkins (he has a first name but no one uses it), one of the DPs, who rarely opens his mouth, except to utter catchphrases such as "rough dude, rough." Everyone has fun mimicking his silly sayings. He is the one person who I didn't really get to know too well, but I have a feeling not many people get a chance to know him very well! Marcus, was our other DP, and he is much more communicative. He had a mohawk for the duration of the shoot and is an unusual guy, but can be unexpectedly sweet. We fight from time to time, but we always make up.




Corbin & Zach are our producers. Corbin is a nut, but a lovable one. He is so proud of his 310 film, its comical. Everyone in film production knows about how he flipped a car for his film. He always goes all out and puts the most he can into things, which is nice. He is a really hard worker and I love people who commit themselves completely to things. Whereas Corbin dealt with the people side of producing, Zach dealt with the budget and money issues. He surprised me a lot during the filming of Sugar Rush. I had never seen him act so serious or mature before. I knew him from 310 and he seemed like a goofy guy, but he definitely knows how to turn on his serious side and get down to business.



I love our production designers as well--Matt & Cali. Their interactions are hilarious. They have come to behave just like brother and sister. Its quite cute. Matt is amazing. He is a freshmen, but no one on the faculty knows it! He never says no to anything Mike requests, he finds a way to do ANYTHING. He is like this bad-ass carpenter boy. He always wears a wife beater and combat type boots. And during the filming of the action sequences, could be guaranteed to be covered in a good amount of fake blood. I would chase him around with towels and napkins. Even though he is amazingly talented, he also was constantly leaving his bloody shirts on the ground and creating messes. But we can't all be perfect! Cali was the only other girl on the crew. She is from England but ditches her accent when she is in the states. She has a real knack for production design and that is her desired career path, so she is right where she wants to be! It worked out really nicely because Matt was great at building stuff and Cali was great at decorating and props so together they were like this unstoppable force!




For sound we had Matt and John. Matt is a nice guy, he assistant directed before so he was always giving me tips on how to better run the set and schedule days more efficiently. He was a big help to me. John is fabulous as well. He is this super tall guy, basically destined to hold a boom mic. He is kind of a goofy ball but has great taste in music and very down to earth. He even let us film at his family home in Palos Verdes. The sound guys were my favorite because they were always ready to go. An AD's dream :)



Then lastly we have the editors--Alan and Brian. Alan is a very sweet guy. He records his own music for fun and his voice on CD will shock you! He was always trying to get Mike to cut down on shots, which I appreciated. He is also in my Writing 340 class and is a frequent guest at Friday's G Phi Brunch. He is like the funniest drunk ever. Brian is a character. He is another one who is constantly mimicked for his odd speech pattern and optimistic, go-getter vocabulary. He is also like the most flirtatious boy I have ever met. But a ton of fun. He sometimes comes off as a douche bag but can be very good to his friends. He critiqued and color corrected my entire 475 directing project. It was a big help! Unfortunately, he does seem to be one of those guys who completely forgets about everyone else in his life when he gets a girlfriend....he hasn't been as fun since. But its probably good for him. He normally has a 2 date rule and now it seems that he is finally falling into an actual relationship. Even though casual dating can be fun, I think its important to experience real relationships. So I think this is a good experience for him.




Oh my, I have written a lot and haven't even realized it! The funny thing is that I feel like I barely glazed over the people! I could write much, much more. But I suppose I should call it a day here.